Wednesday, January 13, 2010

4 Types of Friends Every Pastor Needs

image A number of years ago, I heard both Bobby Clinton (in a Fuller doctoral class) and Howard Hendricks (probably at PromiseKeepers in Boulder) talk about the three friends every Christian man needs:

  • A Paul-someone who pours into your life
  • A Barnabas-a peer who challenges and encourages you and who holds you accountable.
  • A Timothy-Someone (probably younger, at least in the faith) into who you are pouring your life.

This week, I read Ike Reighard’s post on Four Types of Friends Every Pastor Needs.

Study after study shows that most pastors, while they have lots of acquaintances with whom they are friendly and colleagues, have no friends.  (I am not counting one’s spouse in that list-Reighard says some helpful things re: one’s wife as best friend & the dangers it brings).

The Developer-”Your best friend will always be the person who brings out the very best in you.”

The Designer -“We tend to think of mentors as a personal, hands-on coach. The Latin and Greek define them more as “advisors” or “wise men.”… The designer mentors us in our marriage, ministry, child-rearing, civic involvement, business acumen, or any area where we need a model.”

The Disturber-“We need friends who will shake up our status quo. Disturbers ask us difficult questions, forcing us to take a closer look at motivations and ambitions.”

The Discerner -“In a lifetime of relationships, perhaps only a handful of people are willing to play this vital role because it requires mutual vulnerability. More popularly known as accountability partners, discerners bring the gift of spiritual insight into our lives. They know how to speak the truth in love. They know how to exhort and rebuke, seeking to keep their friend on the right track. They are also vulnerable—the true friends who will walk into the room of your life while everyone else is walking out.”

Find the complete article here.


LB said...

What a great article! I think it is so true. I beleive every kind of friend you mentioned is very necessary to mold us into who we are!

Patrick said...

Let me be the Friend that challenges you why does Christian Organizations goes against Nature? But if you ever read the Lost Commandments most of the Commandments are about Living in accordance with nature. Please Minister answer this question Honestly.

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